I've been reflecting back on who I used to be. I was not at all the person I am now. I don't know who she is anymore. I used to be detached, a mere observer of life unable to "feel" much of anything. That came from a fear of loving other people. I was afraid of rejection, so it was just better not to get involved at all. I was also very unhappy back then. My life finally came full circle for reasons which I won't go into here, but I finally learned to open myself to receiving love and therefore, I've got so much of it now that I can't seem to give it all away.
I've also been observing people in my daily environments: work, church, and in the community. There are three basic types:
1. Love of "I" People: These people suffer from insecure egos and MUST have their own way if it harelips the governor. They chase emotional fulfillment through the pursuit of selfish pleasures. They ask:
"What will I get out of this?"
" What's in it for me?"
"Does this fit my agenda?"
Such people don't want to be burdened with anyone else, whether the situation is good or bad. Due to their self-centeredness, they'll eventually come to find that there aren't many people who genuinely care about them because they haven't cultivated any such relationships. They're usually defensive, insecure, cynical, and oppressive. They cannot give love since they don't have it to give, and they don't know how to accept love that's offered to them.
King Solomon went through an "I" period. Read Ecclesiastes Chapter 2 all the way through. Yes, he was gifted with wisdom, but it seems he took the long route getting there. I'm currently reading from the NIV, and it's astounding the number of times he says "I." He's says repeatedly, "I did __________ for myself." He was actively fulfilling his own agenda for quite some time as he tells us in the corpus of the text of Ecclesiastes. Each time he was left feeling in want, still unsatisfied.
2. Love of "It" People: These people are fixated on acquiring things in their pursuit of happiness. They want: (1) something new; (2) to go shopping (a/k/a "retail therapy"); (3) to buy a gift for someone to assuage guilty feelings; (4) to build a surplus of money in order to feel secure (not necessarily a bad thing unless it's all-consuming); and (5) to acquire artifacts of success in order to impress others they don't really like anyway.
Other people are just things to these type of people as well. They're just useful tools. "Love of "It" People" lead meaningless, shallow lives.
Again, most of Ecclesiastes speaks of Solomon's compilation of material wealth. He also lists man servants and maid servants, and men and women singers (Eccl. 2: 7-8). He lists them among his possessions here. It's like he didn't even recognize them as human beings made in the image of God like himself.
3. Love of "You" People: These people truly love and respect others and are compassionate towards others' humanity. They pour themselves wholeheartedly into their friendships and livelihoods for they understand their higher purpose is lifting up others and glorifying God. It is their pleasure to do so. They find joy in putting others before themselves. They get that you're to love your neighbor as yourself (Lev. 19: 18; Mt. 19:19).
There's only one drawback to being a "You" person. You won't be able to understand why others reject you when you reach out to them in love. Rejection hurts whether you understand why or not. Just keep praying for those you're trying to help; that they will come to see you as a dear friend and ally and not the enemy.
I can tell you that I've been both an "I" person and an "It" person, but I never felt truly human until I became a "You" person. Life's not always been a cakewalk for me. I didn't have a happy childhood. I had a troubled adolescence. I was pretty screwed up in the noggin by the time I reached young adulthood. I became a Christian at age 16, but it's taken me until age 41 to re-program myself so that I could think and live in a more Christ-like manner.
Look around at the people in your life. Who are the ones you can truly count on? Does the sum total of them even fill up the fingers of one hand? I hope yours do, because mine do not. The Marines used to say they were "looking for a few good men." I'm likewise "looking for a few good sisters." I relish being other people's go-to girl. I would also like to have some go-to girls of my own.
Love Y'all,
God Bless!
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Love's Wicked Stepsisters, Jealousy and Envy
In my mind I sometimes give characteristics fictitious bodies to live in. I think jealousy and envy versus love meshes nicely with the story of Cinderella.
While jealousy and envy are equally nasty states of mind, we need to realize some differences between the two. Envy is a direct conflict against the one being envied. Jealousy is a triangle. It requires a subject, a rival, and the person or thing one is jealous over. For instance, with envy, you may covet what someone else has, even if that someone who is in possession of said object is a friend or enemy. With jealousy, a common triangle could be a couple in the midst of divorce viaing for the preferential affection of their child. Whichever situation it is, jealous and envy are loves' fiercest enemies. Who is really wounded by this behavior? All parties involved, but with the perpetrator of the vile emotions suffering the most. Why? Such emotions are all-consuming. They eat up vital energy that could be better put to use elsewhere.
Consider Cain in Genesis 4: 2-14. He was jealous because of God's favor of Abel's sacrifice over his. Before Abel's murder took place, God spoke to Cain about why his sacrifice was rejected; but instead of changing his attitude, Cain took his anger out on his brother. Abel was an innocent victim of his brother's wrath (Heb. 11: 4).
God's Word says that envy rots the bones (Prov. 14: 30) and cannot be connected to love (1 Cor. 13: 4). Jealousy causes quarrelling and is worldly (1 Cor. 3: 3). It is also lumped together with hatred, discord, and fits of rage as acts of a sinful nature (Gal. 5: 20).
Jealousy and envy cause you to feel sick inside. They eat away at your soul like a cancer. Examine yourself regularly and make it your priority to banish such destructive thoughts immediately. If you're feeling one or the other, ask yourself why you feel so. Do you want something someone else has? Would it improve your station in life in some respect? Why do you not have that same blessing? Have you not been willing, as perhaps the other person has, to make the necessary sacrifices to obtain it? Is it a price you would be willing to pay? You may realize it isn't. Why are you not grateful for and content with what you already have?
The only cure for these two "heart diseases" is love. Love is defined in 1 Cor. 13. Read and meditate on that passage often--especially when you feel such ugly emotions creeping into your heart. Lack of love for others makes any other attributes you possess worthless. Love builds up instead of tearing down (1 Cor. 8:1). One of Jesus' primary goals by His own example was to teach us to have love for one another (Mt. 19: 9; Jno. 13: 35; 15: 13; Rom. 5:5; 12: 9-10; and 13: 10). Love motivates us to action (1 Cor. 16: 4); love is the sugar in the medicine of the message that makes it go down smoother (Eph. 4: 15); and sincere love runs deeply (1 Pet. 1: 22).
Girlfriends, be as gorgeous on the inside as you are on the outside.
Love you all,
God Bless!
While jealousy and envy are equally nasty states of mind, we need to realize some differences between the two. Envy is a direct conflict against the one being envied. Jealousy is a triangle. It requires a subject, a rival, and the person or thing one is jealous over. For instance, with envy, you may covet what someone else has, even if that someone who is in possession of said object is a friend or enemy. With jealousy, a common triangle could be a couple in the midst of divorce viaing for the preferential affection of their child. Whichever situation it is, jealous and envy are loves' fiercest enemies. Who is really wounded by this behavior? All parties involved, but with the perpetrator of the vile emotions suffering the most. Why? Such emotions are all-consuming. They eat up vital energy that could be better put to use elsewhere.
Consider Cain in Genesis 4: 2-14. He was jealous because of God's favor of Abel's sacrifice over his. Before Abel's murder took place, God spoke to Cain about why his sacrifice was rejected; but instead of changing his attitude, Cain took his anger out on his brother. Abel was an innocent victim of his brother's wrath (Heb. 11: 4).
God's Word says that envy rots the bones (Prov. 14: 30) and cannot be connected to love (1 Cor. 13: 4). Jealousy causes quarrelling and is worldly (1 Cor. 3: 3). It is also lumped together with hatred, discord, and fits of rage as acts of a sinful nature (Gal. 5: 20).
Jealousy and envy cause you to feel sick inside. They eat away at your soul like a cancer. Examine yourself regularly and make it your priority to banish such destructive thoughts immediately. If you're feeling one or the other, ask yourself why you feel so. Do you want something someone else has? Would it improve your station in life in some respect? Why do you not have that same blessing? Have you not been willing, as perhaps the other person has, to make the necessary sacrifices to obtain it? Is it a price you would be willing to pay? You may realize it isn't. Why are you not grateful for and content with what you already have?
The only cure for these two "heart diseases" is love. Love is defined in 1 Cor. 13. Read and meditate on that passage often--especially when you feel such ugly emotions creeping into your heart. Lack of love for others makes any other attributes you possess worthless. Love builds up instead of tearing down (1 Cor. 8:1). One of Jesus' primary goals by His own example was to teach us to have love for one another (Mt. 19: 9; Jno. 13: 35; 15: 13; Rom. 5:5; 12: 9-10; and 13: 10). Love motivates us to action (1 Cor. 16: 4); love is the sugar in the medicine of the message that makes it go down smoother (Eph. 4: 15); and sincere love runs deeply (1 Pet. 1: 22).
Girlfriends, be as gorgeous on the inside as you are on the outside.
Love you all,
God Bless!
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