Sometimes, when I'm not concentrating enough on the sermon like I should be, I may be noticing my peers during the church service. Most are comprised of the entire family unit, but there are several families where one of them does not attend, and it's usually the husband. I know that his wife is probably suffering silent heartache because he's just not interested in spiritual matters. I know this because I experienced it myself for nearly 10 years in my own marriage--and I married a Christian!! Some people just aren't spiritually-minded at all. I'm happy to say that my husband finally turned a corner on that matter for which I'm so grateful.
When the husband and/or father doesn't attend services, it creates tension in the marriage (at least until the wife totally gives up herself and joins him) and sends mixed messages to any children they may have. Mommy loves the Lord, but Daddy hunts, fishes, watches ESPN on Sundays. Or, Mommy attends worship services and takes us, but Daddy doesn't give a care and thinks church is just for women and children. My own father fit the latter description. Church was somehow unmanly to him. However, what's more unmanly than not being the spiritual leader of your own household? It's his God-given appointment (Deut. 6: 6-9; Eph. 5: 25-33; 6: 1-4).
Girlfriends, if this describes your man, what can you do? Forget nagging. Screeching at him that he's going to Hell won't work and it will just embitter him worse against the notion of ever attending church with you. It's harder for spiritually mismatched couples to be and stay married, but it is possible. There's no guarantee that he'll ever attend church with you and you need to go ahead and accept that; but never neglect your children's and your own salvation by giving up the Lord yourself. There may be times when your husband gets angry with you for doing the right thing, but in that instance we're to obey God rather than man, even if that man is one's husband (Acts 5: 29). While we are to submit to our husbands (Eph. 5: 22), this should not be to the point of causing us to fall from grace.
Women can be drawn away from God by an unsaved husband, a husband of a different faith, or by a non-practicing Christian husband. That's why God warned the Israelites against marrying outside of their faith (Ex. 34: 15-16). King Solomon succumbed to the influences of his many pagan wives (1 Kings 11: 3-4).
In your role as a Christian wife, the only thing you can do is to serve as an example to him in how you conduct your own life (1 Pet. 3: 1-4). Be a quiet influence to him. Just be a good example regardless of what he does (Eph. 5: 1-4). You cannot change him if he isn't willing and he will have to eventually bear the consequences of his own sin (Gal. 6: 7-8). If you suffer verbal or emotional abuse for your actions you can be assured that God takes note of it and will reward you for your persecution as a Christian (1 Pet. 4: 14-16). Keep standing for the faith so that you can develop that character in your children. I can tell you that I would not be a Christian today if I not had a faithful Christian mother. You may have to bring your children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Prov. 22: 6) yourself if their father will not. You will have to give an account of your for your own spiritual state to the Lord, not his (Rom. 14: 10-12). Continue to respect and love your husband as best you can, but don't allow him to pull you and your children away from God.
Love Ya,
God Bless!
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2 comments:
My husband uses the excuse that we preach his mother to hell so he will never go to church with me but that is just an excuse. When we were on vacation, he flat refused to go to church so I decided that if he would go to a baptist church then that was the best I could do, he refused that too. Said that he was in overalls and did not know those people. He just does not want to be with God period.
He was a hinderance at first but now he knows that I am going to church and at least works around it. I still have hope. He will help with functions sometime. I still have hope. He is just so ignorant in God's teachings that he has no good basis of belief.
Pray for him and me please.
Will do. You're not alone. I know that there are legions of women who could say the same thing. When my husband balked, it was because of petty differences and personality conflicts he had with certain people within the church, but that wasn't an excuse. Since your guy knows that your going to church is always going to be a "done deal," he'll probably give up opposing you, at least. Mine never tried to stop me from going, but I realize that some women aren't comfortable socially without having their men with them; and that sometimes pulls them away from going to church alone, and consequently, away from God.
It also sounds as if your husband knows what the Scriptures say, but that he's in denial. His contest is with God, not you.
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