Anger Management 101

Probably my worst personal besetting sin is with my inability to deal with anger properly from time to time. I have paid dearly for it, too, sometimes in destroying a relationship or in having it manifest itself physically and cause me pain. I have found it will literally eat you alive from the inside out.

Anger itself is not sinful, but it can cause one to sin. We Christians are told to "put it away" (Eph. 4; Col. 3). The Bible has a lot to say about anger and it's not good. Proverbs 29:9-11 says that a fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man will remain silent or control himself. Proverbs 29:22 says an angry person stirs up trouble and a person with an out of control temper commits many sins. It can stem from sinful inclinations and become a character flaw (Col. 3:8).

There are a few causes of anger. Biologically, it can stem from one's gene structure, blood chemistry, or brain disease. When those things occur, one may have a natural propensity towards anger. It can be a learned behavior in that one can become conditioned to act in anger from past abuse at the hands of others. We also pick it up from TV or from other environmental influences. Additionally, anger can be caused from rejection or fear of rejection, lack of progress towards a goal, or from our own assumptions about matters.

It's the consequences of anger that are the worst. It hurts others. We seem to automatically want to get even after we've gotten mad at someone. We might say things that hurt people and damage our relationships with them. Some may stab people in the back and even resort to violence.

Holding that anger in causes depression and sadness. It causes hypertension, strokes, and cerebral arteriosclerosis. It can cause nausea, ulcers, fatigue, and sleep problems, which I know about personally.

There is a good type of anger, called constructive anger. This would describe God's anger towards evil. Anger expressed in a controlled manner can accomplish good. It is indicative of a problem that needs addressing. However, we're not to fly off the handle in anger (Prov. 16:32; Jas. 1:19-20). Constructive anger leads to reconciliation and healing (Mt. 5:23-24; 18:15-18).

An angry person has three choices: to vent, suppress, or process the anger. The latter is the best choice. It's best to learn to control your anger and not let it control you. The more maturely you handle it, the less likely you are to lash out, pout, or try to get even. Think it through. Decided the pros and cons of where you're headed with your anger before you express it. There were times that I was so angry I had to just walk away when I really wanted to go atomic about something.

For me, I've prayed for God's guidance and strength to overcome it. I know that whatever I ask for in faith, God will give it to me as long as it's in accordance with His will (1 Jno. 5:14-15; Mt. 21:22; Jas. 4:2-3).

In conclusion, consider the following points:

1. Love and respect others (Jno. 15:12-17; 1 Jno. 4; Phil 2:2-4);
2. Overlook what others do (Prov. 19:11);
3. Don't be so quickly angered (Eccl. 7:9; Prov. 15:18; Jas. 1:19);
4. Give a soft answer (Prov. 15:1; Psa. 119:11); and
5. Meditate on God's Word (Psa. 1; 119:11).

For me, this is a process. I've asked forgiveness, but I'm still trying to recondition myself not to respond in certain ways. We only have a short time on this earth. Let's try to make it as pleasant as possible for others as well as ourselves.

Love Ya,
God Bless!