Dee-Iii-Vee-Ooo-Rrr-Cee-Eee

Did I make it sound Tammy Wynette enough?

I reallllly hate that word! It's not part of my personal lexicon, but it is a fact of life, unfortunately, and I've been asked by one of my students to write a future lesson on it. I know they need to know these things, but it's such a horrible thing to think about. My own parents divorced when I was 9, and I hate reliving it.

Truly, God never intended for divorces to happen. He said so in Malachi 2: 13-16; and as a result of those people's disobedience, He refused to even listen to their prayers. God doesn't listen to us when we sin (Isa. 58:2; Jer. 11: 10-11; Jer. 14: 11-12; Psa. 39:12; 66:18). God goes on record numerous times against divorce: "Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." (Mt. 19: 6; See also 1 Cor. 7: 10-11, 27; Luk. 16:18; Mt. 5: 31-32; 19:9; Mk. 10: 11; and Rom. 7: 2-3).

I see divorce for reasons that one wants to be with another as the highest level of selfishness. He or she defiles that "new person" they're with and makes them no longer a scripturally viable marriage candidate for anyone else. It's like saying, "He or she is mine, but now this or that one is mine too." More for you and less for everyone else. For such people life is a box of chocolates and they intend to eat them all and not leave any for anyone else.

While it's true that divorce can happen at any stage in a marriage, I think it's more frequent in the under 10 years of marriage period; and then rears its ugly head again sometimes after all the kids have been raised and left the nest. I can attest personally to it being very painful for the divorcing couple's children. Parents in their anger and jealousy use the child as a tool to get back at each other with. They'll ask them to spy or use the children as leverage to manipulate the other parent when they're angry. It devastates child victims on into adulthood. They often experience insecurity, guilt that they somehow caused the split, their performance at school starts flagging; and they're more prone to alcohol and/or drug abuse and suicide. I know myself that until my husband and I passed the 12.5 year as a married couple (the benchmark of my own parents' marital demise), that I didn't relax in my own marriage.

Here's some stats for divorcees:

1. Second marriages tend to be shakier and end quicker than first marriages;

2. Victims of divorce usually suffer more medical crises and chronic medical conditions than happily married people;

3. Divorced men more so than women, suffer higher incidences of psychiatric illness;

4. Divorced women, more so than men, suffer from clinical depression;

5. Alcohol and drug abuse is higher among divorced individuals; and

6. Divorce drives women and children towards poverty-level economically.

Well, that's all I have to say about the matter for today. I think I'll get down off my soap box now and wash my hands of the whole stinking matter.